When you want a divorce and the kids are old enough to understand what is happening, the process can be somewhat tricky. However, you should be prepared to do your best to ensure that the best interest of your children is well taken care of.
Divorcing a spouse is never an easy thing, especially if you have several kids together. Therefore, you should take a careful approach to the whole process. Ideally, you should consult a relationship counselor or a family law attorney to learn more about the process, what to expect and how to minimize any adverse psychological effects the divorce may have on your children. To make the process easier, you may want to do the following:
1. Let Them Know That They are not the Cause of the Divorce
Most kids usually blame themselves for their parents’ breakup. As a parent, you should move fast to explain why you are considering divorce. Ideally, you should explain to them about some of the changes that are likely to occur after the divorce and how you are going to ensure that your relationship with them will not change in any way.
2. Fight for Joint Custody
Unless your spouse has abused your kids physically, sexually or emotionally, you should negotiate a joint custody arrangement. It is important for both parents to be in the life of their children, even if they cannot continue living together. If the other parent wants full custody, the court may be forced to decide on the matter. However, joint custody will be granted if you have always been there for your kids.
3. Don’t Try to Sabotage Their Relationship With the Other Parent
During, and even after, divorce, most parents are not usually in good terms with each other. Some parents even try to make their kids hate the other parent. This is ill-advised because the kids still need both parents in their lives. In fact, you should try to speak well of the other parent. Kids need as much love as possible around them, so you should do your best to ensure that they have a conducive environment around them.