When it comes time to split with your spouse, you may be wondering how it will affect the children. If you have decided that there is no way that you can continue your marriage, the most important thing that you can do is to protect your children from the ultimate damage that divorce can bring.
Seek Out Mediation First
Divorcing spouses who have been taken through the court process can find it nearly impossible to co-parent afterward. The traditional court process will pit one parent against the other, encouraging them to fight to the death or risk losing their relationship with the children. This not only damages the parents but the children as well.
Mediation is the no-conflict alternative. With a mediator, you can discuss your needs with the other parent in a non-adversarial manner and come to an agreement that everyone can live with. The decreased costs of mediation also mean that families can avoid spending their children’s college fund on attorneys.
Tell the Kids
Don’t hide the fact that you are divorcing from your children. They will find out eventually, and keeping information from them will simply cause them to come to their own conclusions. This can lead to misunderstandings and feelings that they have caused the situation. Tell all of the children at the same time so that none of the children feels responsible for keeping secrets from the others.
Use age-appropriate language and reassure them that it is not their fault that you two are splitting. Children want to know if they will have to change schools or move to a new home. Address their concerns honestly and openly.
When it comes to divorcing when you have children, the key is to get through the process as quickly and minimize the damage to the children. Find professional help today.