Having to a end marriage is never easy. At the end of your union, there may be a mix of emotions, from grief to fear and depression. Most of these feelings are unexpected, especially if you have never been through a divorce before. Even if the relationship had been over for years, the finality of divorce can shock you and leave you feeling lost. Keeping yourself emotionally healthy throughout this process is key to moving on after divorce.
Keeping Your Sanity in a Divorce
Many divorcing couples see the process as a knock down drag out fight to the death. If you get into this mindset, you are only going to make the process harder on yourself. If there are children involved, this attitude will destroy them. In a high conflict divorce, everyone loses.
Understand the Signs of a High Conflict Divorce
Even the most simple negotiations can become acrimonious in a high conflict divorce. If your former spouse is completely focused on “winning” or “beating you” in court, you may be in for a long battle. Unfortunately, the court process makes it harder for the spouse that simply wants to tie up all of the legal details and move on.
Your spouse may intentionally drag out the proceedings, file frivolous petitions and use other dirty tricks to hurt you in court. If you see signs of this, hire a trusted attorney to represent your interests and that of any children involved.
Get a Trusted New Jersey Divorce Attorney
If mediation and negotiation don’t work, hire an attorney that is ethical and will treat your case with dignity. If your attorney starts talking about ways to “destroy” your former spouse, run and find a new attorney. A lawyer who is more interested in winning than doing what is right for all parties will drain you both financially and emotionally.
Remember that your lawyer makes the most money when you and your former spouse are in high conflict. There is really no incentive for your attorney to help you and your former spouse reach a quick and easy settlement. Some child custody cases can top $50,000 in legal fees—a handsome payout for the attorneys involved. Find an attorney who is interested in protecting your rights while resolving the case as quickly as possible.
Get Professional Help and Support
There is professional help for people who have gone through nasty divorces. These trained professionals have experience working with victims of trauma and can help you to sort through the issues that you may have faced in your divorce. There are also support groups available where you can meet other people who have been through the trauma of divorce.
Move on With Life
It can be easy to be stuck after a divorce. Many people are still focused on what went wrong in the marriage and what could have been done differently. Some people stop engaging in activities they once enjoyed. Others refuse to love anyone else or even make new friends. After your divorce it is important that you start living life again and allow yourself to feel happiness.
Divorce can be a life changing process. Keeping your sanity through it takes deliberate effort. Find the right steps toward healing today.