When you’re divorced, it can seem like communicating with your ex is nearly impossible at times. After all, there was a reason you got divorced (regardless of what that reason was); so don’t try to assume that everything moving forward is going to be simple and easy.
Co-parenting children together can be difficult at times, but it’s important to remember that at the end of the day, working toward the common goal of raising your children should be the top priority. Here are five simple techniques you can use to improve the communication between the two of you.
It’s important to remember that the animosity between you and your ex needs to stay between you and your ex. This is especially true when trying to co-parent together; sometimes it’s hard to separate the feelings for your ex with the relationship with your children’s parent. Remember that no matter what happens, you’re going to have to deal with each other until the children are at least 18 years old.
Keep Issues You Have Away From Kids
Never bring your children into a disagreement – especially if you can’t say anything nice about your ex. Bringing up or saying negative things about the other parent makes children feel as though they have to choose between the two of you. Remember that children have a right to have a relationship with both parents, so keep your negativity out of earshot.
Children are Not Messengers
Keep your children away from adult conversations or disagreements. While your child might travel back and forth between households, it’s not fair to expect them to get involved in any conflict you might have; especially if that involves custody or support. If you have an issue that needs to be addressed, contact your partner directly via email or telephone.
Treat Your Ex Like a Business Arrangement
Make the agreement to keep a professional, business-like approach to corresponding with each other – even if it’s increasingly difficult. The focus of your correspondence should be the children, and nothing but the children. Speak clearly, talk slowly and make sure you keep your voice level to a minimum while speaking.
Bite Your Tongue
One of the hardest things in co-parenting is learning to pick your “battles” carefully. Although it’s easy to get under someone’s skin, try to let the small things between the relationship go. While you might not agree with everything that happens within their household, it’s important to remember that you have absolutely no say or control in how things are run – so getting upset isn’t going to change anything.