Divorce and Children

How to Effectively Handle Divorce and the Kids

When you want a divorce and the kids are old enough to understand what is happening, the process can be somewhat tricky. However, you should be prepared to do your best to ensure that the best interest of your children is well taken care of. Divorcing a spouse is never an easy thing, especially if you have several kids together. Therefore, you should take a careful approach to the whole process. Ideally, you should consult a relationship counselor or a family law attorney to learn more about the process, what to expect and how to minimize any adverse psychological effects the divorce may have on your children. To make the process easier, you may want to do the following: 1. Let Them Know That They are not the Cause of the Divorce Most kids usually blame themselves for their parents’ breakup. As a parent, you should move fast to explain why you are considering divorce. Ideally, you should explain to them about some of the changes that are likely to occur after the divorce and how you are going to ensure that your relationship with them will not change in any way. 2. Fight for Joint Custody Unless your spouse has abused your kids physically, sexually or emotionally, you should negotiate a joint custody arrangement. It is important for both parents to be in the life of their children, even if they cannot continue living together. If the other parent wants full custody, the court may be forced to decide on the matter. However, joint custody will be granted if you have always been there for your kids. 3. Don’t Try to Sabotage Their Relationship With the Other Parent During, and even after, divorce, most parents are not usually in good terms with each other. Some parents even try to make their kids hate the other parent. This is ill-advised because the kids still need both parents in their lives. In fact, you should try to speak well of the other parent. Kids need as much love as possible around them, so you should do your best to ensure that they have a conducive environment around them.

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Top 10 Things All Divorcing Parents Should Tell Their Kids

It is important to remember there are innocent bystanders sitting on the sidelines, watching and listening. Regardless of age, careful attention must be paid to the children of divorce, minimizing the fallout as they interpret it. Here are a few words of advice to offer children that may help guide them through this difficult period and ease their adjustment. Help your children get through your divorce. Click here to read the entire article here:

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Hidden Truths About Being A Child Of Divorce

“If you’re a kid with divorced parents, constant checkups from mom and dad can be exhausting: “Are you doing okay?” they ask. “Do you want to talk to a therapist? If there’s anything that’s bothering you about the divorce, you’d tell me, right?” And though you could tell them the truth, bottling up your feelings just seems easier. Your parents are thoroughly caught up in their own drama, you figure, so why further complicate things by dredging up your own issues about the divorce? “ Read the entire article called 14 Hidden Truths About Being A Child Of Divorce http://alturl.com/yrrwr

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Dos and Don’t Of Helping The Kids Deal With Divorce

Isolina Ricci, PhD, a family therapist and author of Mom’s House, Dad’s House, says, “When children are free to love both of their parents without conflict of loyalty, to have access to them both without fear of losing either, they can get on with the totally absorbing business of growing up, on schedule.” The following article provides nine strategies for tips for minimizing the negative impact on your divorce on children. http://www.webmd.com/children/kids-coping-divorce

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Helping The Kids Cope With Divorce

Your divorce is going to be difficult for the children. It is going to be difficult for everyone involved the very things that the parents can do to help their children cope. Knowing that mom and dad are no longer going to live together can be very scary for little children. They don’t understand what is happening or why and while the parents may not even know what life is going to look like in the future imagine how much more difficult it might be for the kids. The following is a fantastic article about helping kids deal with separation and divorce. There are some great tips for supporting your children through this time of uncertainty. http://www.helpguide.org/mental/children_divorce.htm

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Breaking The News To Your Children About Your Divorce

Divorce is hard. It is not only hard on you but it is going to be equally stressful on the children. Just as you will go through.  Just as you will go through a period of sadness and anger as well as worry and frustration so will your children. But just as you will get through this so will your children. In many ways they are likely to come out of it more capable and able to deal with stress the result. The first and most difficult part will be sharing the news with children. It is important that you talk with your kids about your decision to divorce and what that means.  Assure them that what is happening is not their fault and is in no way a reflection of your love for them. It is important that both parents be there for this conversation and that there is no negativity, conflict or blame. This is the time to show the children that when it comes to them you are unified in a desire that they feel love and wanted and that you will both be there for them. This conversation can go a long way to alleviating their biggest fears. Throughout the process both parents need to keep providing assurance that this is not the fault of the children and that nothing will ever change about how they feel about them even though they may live apart.

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