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Divorce

Divorce Advice to Ignore for Your Own Sanity

When you tell your friends and family that you are considering a divorce, you will be greeted with mixed reactions. Some will be relieved, others will be surprised, still others will try to talk you out of it. You will be bombarded with divorce advice. While most of it is well-meaning, there is some advice that you should take with a grain of salt, and some that you should absolutely ignore completely until you have talked with a qualified New Jersey divorce lawyer. Advice on Child Custody Well-meaning family members and friends might encourage you to fight for custody of your children or give you suggestions about time sharing arrangements. They may even advise you of ways to keep the child away from the other parent. Don’t follow any advice that suggests “destroying” the other parent or their relationship with the children. This will hurt everyone involved. People who suggest you fight for custody do so from a comfortable position. They don’t have to deal with attorney’s fees, conflicts, court appearances and the ensuing loss of trust with your former spouse. Trust your own instincts and take this advice with a grain of salt. Advice on Financial Settlements Family members often advise divorcing spouses to “take him to the cleaners” or to hide assets, freeze accounts or otherwise cripple the other partner financially. This will ultimately cost you, and is often an indication that there are unresolved feelings of anger and resentment bubbling under the surface. Take into account the motives of the people giving the advice. Did they suffer a bad divorce and still harbor ill feelings toward their former spouse? If so, they could be projecting those thoughts onto you. Follow your gut and work to come to a fair settlement and move on quickly. Thank your well-meaning friends and family for their advice but make your own decision. When you announce your split, you will get plenty of divorce advice, some good, some bad. Make the decisions that are right for you and your family and first and foremost discuss your options with a New Jersey divorce attorney.

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Finding the Right New Jersey Lawyer for Your Divorce

Getting a personal recommendation for a divorce lawyer will save you the heartache of getting a bad attorney. Most people know at least one person who has gone through a divorce, so reach out to anyone you know that can refer someone. If you can’t get a personal referral, check with the state Bar Association and find out if your potential attorney has ever had any complaints filed against him. Get to Know Him or Her Meet with your prospective attorney several times before hiring him to take your case. Divorce lawyers have different styles of handling cases, and it is important to make sure that your lawyer’s personality matches your goals. If you have a difficult spouse who is hiding assets and wants to make the case challenging, you may need a “bulldog” attorney who will fight aggressively. If, on the other hand, there are children involved in the process, an aggressive lawyer can be the wrong choice. He may choose to fight instead of settle, which increases the tension and the damage to the children. Beware of a lawyer who threatens to “take him to the cleaners,” or “destroy her life.” Divorce lawyers get paid more when there is more disagreement and conflict. Find an ethical attorney who will settle your case quickly and allow you to move on. When it comes to hiring an attorney for your divorce, getting the right one for your case is crucial.

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The Top Factors that Lead to Divorce

With the numbers of couples divorcing reaching staggering figures, many people wonder what causes spouses to split. Studies have shown that there are several common reasons for couples to seek out divorce. Lack of Commitment Many people marry without understanding the amount of commitment that it takes to remain married. They may marry on a whim or out of loneliness. Either way, when the sparks stop flying, these couples may decide to go their separate ways and divorce. Money Money can represent power in many relationships, and if there is an imbalance in power, it can lead to conflict. Couples in which one spouse significantly out earns the other can mean an increased risk of divorce. If there is a lack of money in the relationship, the stress that comes along with financial instability can lead to divorce. Children Surprisingly, the presence of children can sink a marriage. Having children brings with it the added responsibility of caring for others as well as the financial burdens of providing for them. This can lead to added stress, and eventual divorce. Marital discord is high for couples with young children and teenagers—the two age groups that need the most attention. Unmet Expectations Many couples have differing expectations about the partner’s role in the marriage. If she thinks that the couple should share domestic duties and he wants a traditional wife that takes care of all of the cooking and cleaning, there will be stress when each one tries to force the other into their expected role. Lack of Intimacy Some couples simply stop touching each other. They forget to hold hands, give hugs and spontaneously kiss each other before leaving for work. Couples that don’t maintain sexual and non-sexual intimacy are often at high risk for divorce. Understanding the major factors that lead to divorce can help you to save your marriage and live harmoniously with your partner.

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The Top Qualities of a Good New Jersey Divorce Attorney

If you are considering divorce, you may have many questions. The most pressing one is likely how you will find the right divorce attorney to handle this process. By recognizing the qualities that make for a good divorce lawyer, you will be better equipped to face the process. Qualifications There are many attorneys out there, some who handle real estate transactions, others who handle probates and wills. You need one that specializes in matrimonial law. There are no shortcuts here. Your attorney should be experienced in handling these cases so that he will be prepared when it is time for fight for you. A Good Reputation You can check with the Bar Association in your state to see if your attorney has ever been cited for misconduct. You can also check reviews to see if there are any negative mentions of him online. There are many attorneys out there. If you find one that is questionable, don’t risk hiring him. Simply move on to one with a good track record. Ethics Some attorneys will promise you the moon and stars to keep you paying their fees. They will play on the high emotions often present in a divorce case, and try to convince you that you will get everything and your former spouse will be penniless. They will make you think that winning is everything and the best outcome will be to destroy your former partner. This behavior is unethical and will cost you in the end. Find an attorney that strives for fairness, openness and cooperation, not a nasty battle. Flexible and Available Can you contact your attorney when you need to? Is he open to alternative arrangements when it comes to custody and visitation? Is he easy to get on the phone? Make sure your attorney is both available and flexible. When it comes to divorce, the process is rarely easy. A good divorce attorney will get you through it quickly so you can move on.

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Finding A Good New Jersey Collaborative Divorce Attorney

What do you do when your spouse comes to you and says they’re in love with someone else and wants a divorce? Maybe you are the one who has been considering ending your marriage. You might not be sure where to start or who to turn to. The most important thing you can do is to seek the advice of an experienced New Jersey divorce attorney who can provide legal counsel and explain what your options are and what you can expect with regard to your children, financial matters and the legal process. It is critical that you talk with a professional as soon as possible but that doesn’t mean being too hasty in hiring the first divorce attorney that you find in the phone book or with an online search. It is important that you find a divorce lawyer whom you will be comfortable with knowing they will be acting with your best interest at heart and with your goals in mind. The family lawyer you choose can make a huge difference in how it all turns out. If the thought of a nasty drawn out divorce makes your stomach turn you may want to look for an attorney who is experienced with collaborative divorce or mediation over traditional litigation. Many people are seeking this alternative today because it allows them to end their marriage without hostility or the expense that goes along with a heated court battle. Collaborative divorce can be a lot less stressful because both parties agree to work outside the court system. It is often less adversarial. This can also lead to a much healthier relationship between both parties after the divorce is over. A good collaborative divorce attorney will have a team of collaborative divorce experts who will help with all areas of the process. He or she will have access to trusted mental health professionals who are experienced with divorce as well as child specialist and financial experts as well. Collaborative divorce may be the best option for you and it is certainly something to consider as you look for in New Jersey divorce attorney during this very difficult time in your life. As you are considering a good lawyer you owe it to yourself to consult with one who is experienced in collaborative divorce.

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What ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ Can Teach About Moving On After A Break Up

“Divorce is often so dramatic, you need something to put your problems in perspective. When things started to get a little too intense for PR specialist Jennifer Allemann, she turned on her TV and consulted with the one group of people who had more drama in their life than her: the docs on “Grey’s Anatomy.” “Watching other people’s relationships ebb and flow reminded me that my problems weren’t so bad after all!” Allemann joked.  Allemann tells us more about how McDreamy, McSteamy and Meredith helped her move on — and shares a few more things that helped her deal with the fallout of her divorce. ” Who wouldn’t use McDreamy and McSteamy to help you get over your split! Read the full article here: http://goo.gl/smhtx1

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Is Divorce Right For You?

If you are struggling in an unhappy marriage, you may be asking yourself whether it is time to call it quits. Studies have shown that if you are in a bad marriage you are far more likely to suffer from stress, poor health and may even be taking years off your life. Is Divorce Right For You? Being patient and taking time is often enough to solve small issues between couples, and it is important to acknowledge that every marriage has its own ups and downs. However, you may want to consider getting divorced if you feel your marriage is becoming a threat to your overall well being and health. Divorce may offer you the peace of mind you feel you need if you dread coming home every evening, or feel miserable or anxious when in the presence of your spouse. Many people trapped in an unhappy marriage find that their unhappiness and discontent affects other areas of their life, such as work and relationships with friends and children. Take The Next Step Try to imagine your life as a single person again, and that may help you to decide if divorce is the right step for you to take. Some people thrive on being single and if that sounds like you, getting divorced may be the right step for you. However, some people don’t like to be alone and if that is you, it may be worth your while trying to make your marriage work. It is all too easy to struggle along in an unhappy marriage for many years before taking the plunge and getting a divorce; it is never an easy decision to make. However, it may well be the right choice if you just know that you are unhappy and your marriage isn’t working. Starting a new chapter in your life may be just what you need.

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The Top Qualities Of A Great Divorce Attorney

Finding a good divorce attorney can mean the difference between quickly moving on with your life and being raked through the coals, both financially and emotionally. By getting the best attorney for your case, you will be able to receive a fair settlement that will allow you to move on to the next chapter of your life. Good Attorneys are Experienced One of the top qualities of a great divorce attorney is experience. Hiring an attorney who specializes in matrimonial law is crucial to getting a positive outcome for your case. Your attorney should be familiar with procedures, rule and deadlines. This will make you more likely to get through the process quickly with minimal financial damage. Great Attorneys are Ethical and Level-Headed Your attorney should be firm, yet realistic. During a divorce, emotions may be running high and parties may be motivated to be difficult and inflexible in order to get back at the other spouse. While it may seem rewarding to have your attorney “destroy” your spouse, most honest attorneys will advise against this and encourage a spirit of cooperation. Great Attorneys Come Highly Recommended Great divorce attorneys will have testimonials from happy clients. Even if the parties don’t get exactly what they want, as most don’t, they will sing the praises of an attorney that acted ethically and treated them fairly. Simply finding a lawyer in the directory won’t work when your livelihood and family relationship is on the line. Find a friend or relative who has been divorced and get their personal recommendation. If you are going through a divorce, finding a good attorney can make all of the difference in the outcome. Great attorneys have experience in the law, are ethical and have satisfied clients. Find the best attorney to represent you in your divorce today.

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The Best Things About Getting Divorced

When most people think about divorce, they think about the negative aspects of the breakup of a marriage. Few people, however, consider the benefits of dissolving a union. It can be fun to consider some of the best things about getting divorced. An End to Conflict If your marriage was especially conflict-ridden, getting a divorce can be a much-needed relief. A long, drawn out divorce can be emotionally draining, and getting to the final stage often brings with it a sense of calm and peace. A New World of Possibility As a newly single person, the world is your oyster. If you don’t have young children to care for, you can spend your time exactly as you see fit. Travel the world or write the great American novel—the choice is yours. Some people decide to follow their dreams of starting a business or pursuing a hobby after a divorce. Complete Autonomy If you depended on spouse for money or had to account for all of your spending, getting a divorce can feel like breaking free. When you are free from the financial bonds to another person, you can spend money on things that you enjoy, without having to consult another person. More Personal Space No longer will you have to sort through a hundred beauty products just to use the bathroom sink. You can take down the old Star Wars posters that you always hated in the family room. After a divorce, your space is your own and you can use it as you wish. More Opportunities for Romance If the spark left your marriage years ago, you may have forgotten how magical it felt to fall in love. After your divorce, you can enjoy that chance again. One of the best things about getting divorced is the chance of finding and falling in love all over again. Experience the rush of passion and emotion that you may have missed out on for years. While divorce is not fun for most people, there are silver linings to the dark cloud of marital separation. From new freedom to new love, there are some great things about getting divorced.

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Here Are The Types of Friends You Need During Your Divorce

Here Are The Types of Friends You Need During Your Divorce I see a lot of divorce advice. I found this article on the types of friends you should have during your divorce interesting. “It is tempting to hide. To hibernate. You may want to pull the covers over your head and not come out until the debris field has been cleared. It’s tempting, but it won’t help you heal.” What will? The right friends. Here’s the article. http://alturl.com/wths9

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