Starting Over After Divorce For Men
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“There’s nothing like divorce to bring out the crazy in people. Need proof? Below, we’ve assembled some of the most ridiculous responses to a Reddit thread asking divorce lawyers to reveal the craziest demands and antics they’ve had to deal with. Read what they had to say — and try not to weep too hard for the sad, sorry state of humanity.” Here is one example. “Took the couple two hours to decide who would get the groceries left in the fridge. Estimated value of the groceries was around $40. Two hours of my time, opposing counsel time, and mediator time added up to about $1,000. It all came down to a Costco/Sam’s Club-sized jar of peanut butter. (Who keeps peanut butter in the fridge?!)” -ammjh” Click here to read the entire article.
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Divorce has the potential to be an extremely stressful event. Physicians and psychologists rank divorce with the death of a loved one, serious illness, and job loss as one of life’s greatest challenges. Having a good family attorney can make this often difficult process considerably less arduous. When searching for a divorce attorney, one must examine the situation surrounding the split and assess whether the legalities are likely to be adversarial or conciliatory. The length of the marriage needs to be considered, as well as any child custody issues. One should make a list of all property and assets that will need to be divided, and consider what, if anything, belonged to each spouse at the start of the union. A prenuptial agreement may be in place. Some states have community property laws that will also affect how the case proceeds. If there are extenuating circumstances, such as infidelity or abuse, these will need to be discussed, as well. It is vital to find an attorney who can address one’s specific needs with regard to the list above. Many people find their attorney via word of mouth from friends or colleagues who have already gone through a divorce. There are also websites that rank and review law firms and individual attorneys. The state bar association is another good source for recommendations, as are membership organizations for professionals who work in the family court system. For those who cannot afford a lawyer, many municipalities have subsidized legal aid, and some law schools also offer pro bono (free) services. A law firm that has already worked with the divorcing couple on other matters, such as probate or real estate, may find it a conflict of interest to represent one party against the other in a divorce. During the selection process, it is wise to make a shortlist of firms or practitioners in consideration and to prepare a list of questions for them. In the case of a fairly amicable divorce or one that can be easily drawn up and stipulated in a judge’s chambers, finding an attorney who can work with one’s spouse’s representation may prove advantageous. Many divorce attorneys will recommend peers with whom they have a particularly good business relationship. Likewise, they may be familiar with good divorce mediators in the area, who can help participants come to an agreement outside of the courtroom. If the divorce is more contentious, finding a lawyer who can defend one’s interests is of the utmost importance. One should inquire about an attorney’s experience in matrimonial law, as well his or her background in litigation. While a small legal office may be able to devote more time and personal attention to each client, a large firm offers staff that can deal with documents and the minutiae that come with a complicated divorce. It is a good idea to ask who will be the main client contact and if that is a partner, an associate, or an assistant or paralegal. All fees should be spelled out up front, and a retainer, or down payment on services may be requested. While the media stereotype persists of the divorce attorney as a shark who wants to drag out the proceedings and make more money, most practitioners of family law simply want to represent their clients to the best of their ability. A good Divorce Attorney strikes a balance between protecting the client’s interests and handling the case with dispatch so both parties can move on. In the long run, this is what generates good feedback and keeps the best lawyers in business.
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The first step in retaining the services of a qualified, experienced divorce attorney is an initial consultation. The typical divorce lawyer offers an initial consultation with a prospective client like you at no-cost and at no-obligation. When planning such an initial consultation, there are a series of questions to ask your divorce attorney. Experience and Education Experience is fundamental when it comes to hiring a suitable divorce lawyer. As a consequence, you need to ask prospective legal counsel about his or her specific experience in representing divorce clients. Focus your questions about experience on the specific circumstances of your own case. For example, if you and your spouse have a custody dispute, find out the nature of an attorney’s experience in dealing with child custody disputes in marriage termination proceedings. Fees and Costs Obtain a specific delineation of how a divorce lawyer’s fee system actually works. There can be rather significant differences from one lawyer to the next. For example, some attorneys require a fairly substantial retainer up front. Others charge a flat fee for divorce services. Some lawyers offer clients in divorce cases fairly flexible payment plans. Case Load Find out what a lawyer’s caseload is like. You do not want to engage the services of a divorce attorney that is already overwhelmed with cases. At the other extreme, if an attorney has an unusually small caseload, he or she may be newer to the profession (and lacking experience) or may have had issues providing clients with suitable services in the past. Outline Strategy One key part of an initial consultation is to discuss a preliminary strategy for your case. This is not a specific discussion of an action plan. However, a talented, adept attorney should be able to layout a reasonably cogent strategy for how he or she proposes dealing with the primary issues in your marriage dissolution case.
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The farthest thing from a couple’s mind during their engagement or on their wedding day, is the matter of divorce. However, many persons unfortunately have to deal with this reality, some time during their lifetime. There are several factors that contribute to the breakdown of a marriage, and although the experience can be devastating, it sometimes is usually for the best. The divorce may not have been your choice, but you should view it as an opportunity to develop personally. It is important that any individual involved in a divorce, should learn the best ways to cope with the experience. You can now focus on yourself, instead of on a marriage that was leading down the wrong path. Prepare and enjoy meals that your former partner was not fond of, but that you like. Also spend time with your friends and family, and participate in the hobbies you may have discarded because you did not have sufficient time. This is the time to enjoy them solely for yourself and your well being. During this vulnerable time in your life, you need to be careful when it comes to certain things. You must never forget that loving self-care is what you are aiming for, and anything that could pose a hindrance to this, should be avoided. Do not view yourself as a failure, as there are many changes that we need to make during our lives, in order to enhance its quality. If not, we would end up living a life filled with misery. Be cautious of entering into a new relationship too soon after your divorce, and instead give yourself sufficient time to grieve over your loss, which is a natural process. In a positive way, be selfish and focus on your hopes, dreams, goals and aspirations. Eliminate any unwanted items from your past, which may extend to persons who are causing unnecessary drama in your life when it is definitely not welcomed. If there are children involved, concentrate on enjoying quality time with them and bonding with them in the best way, that may not have been possible in a marriage where problems existed. Change is the path to personal growth and this must be remembered. Do not spend time fighting, as in the long run you will be better off. Instead focus on the things that are of great importance to you, and get rid of the anger. You may have periods of sadness which is expected, but force yourself to be involved in positive things and to be surrounded by positive persons. Even while coping with divorce, in the midst of difficulties, you can experience healing.
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A good divorce attorney is essential if you are planning to get divorced, or your spouse has threatened to file for divorce. In fact so important is legal representation that many lawyers will advise you not to sign anything until you have an attorney. If your spouse has a divorce attorney and you don’t, you can be at a disadvantage. One of the reasons a good attorney is essential is that the divorce laws and procedures are complicated and confusing to most people; they can also vary from state to state. Your attorney will be able to make the process as smooth and as efficient as possible and help you understand the often tedious and lengthy process. Having legal representation is a necessity for anyone getting divorced, although if you have a lot of valuable assets or child custody issues, it is even more important. Of course, you want your fair share, regardless of the reason for the split and your attorney has your best interests at heart. He or she will work on your behalf to make sure you get what you are entitled to. Without a lawyer, you may not get what you want in terms of custody or visitation rights. Many divorcing couples understandably find this a stressful time, and often emotions can prevent someone from making a sensible decision. Your attorney will remain objective and is often in a better position to see the bigger picture and the solution that might be better for both parties. Remember, your attorney has handled many cases similar to yours and knows the system, what to expect and the options available to you. Getting divorced is never easy. However, having a reliable and experienced divorce attorney on your side can help to make the process as easy as possible, and ensure that you get what you deserve from the settlement.
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While it is true that every divorce is different and has it’s own set of unique circumstances and issues there are commonalities. There are things to avoid that hold true in almost every case. Jim Halfens in his article “10 Things to Remember When You are Getting a Divorce ” provides a list of 10 things to remember when you’re going through a divorce. I think you will find this list helpful. Read entire article.
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Don’t make these mistakes in dating after your divorce.
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Fabulous tips for finding love and hope after divorce.
Finding Love After Divorce Read More »
Moving on is never easy but are there things you might be doing that are making it more difficult. Here’s a good article on “5 Ways To Truly Move On From Your Ex.” http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/04/life-after-divorce-_n_4725102.html?utm_hp_ref=life-after-divorce
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